Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Saratoga

Day 1- Dodie is mad because the U.S. government denied her request for the 365 and some change calender. All-Pro watched the Fresh Prince of Bell Air dance championships. Market slapped all her kids just for living........

Day 2- Just a blur, too many Budweisersssssssssssssss at The Shack. Shack by day and "$2 you call it" at the Bull Pen at night, not a good decision......

Day 3- Market and All-Pro have launched a $1 exacta box offensive on all races at the track. There is talk that they may pool their dollar then chip in and split a coffee.......

Day 4- 74 Beers was the gaunlet that was thrown down. Doc said it couldn't be done All-Pro disageered, hence the beer fest of 2007 has begun, god save us all.......All-Pro was quoted as saying "Bonds hit 73?" what a pussy....."

Day 5- Took the blame for All-Pro's faux paus, Market was thoughougly pissed. Took a beating for my brother....Market acted on some disinformation......

Day 6- It is Travers Day, and yes I am still alive. The Talapia at the Harness Track was awesome. At 2:30 p.m. All-Pro's beer count is 12, more to follow.....

Day 7- Travers Day +1...All-Pro's beer count was 34, impressive being that it was one of the hottest Travers Days on record. The night was spent on Caroline Street playing the waiting game. Waiting to get into a bar, waiting for a drink, waiting to use the bathroom. All-Pro's beer count may have been 34 but Doc's chimichanga count was 8.......My Uncle O'Rourke has moe stories than the Highway Patrol.........

Day 8- Summer's gone and all the flowers are dying tis you must go and I must bide....come ye back next Travers Day Week....for we'll be here on the porch in sunshine and in shadow......summer time on White Street I love you so..............see you in '08

Sunday, August 12, 2007

How much do you love your siblings?

We recently had a family member go through a rough time with cancer, prognosis was not good. We began to talk about what would you do if it were your sister, brother, or other family member suffering from illness. I came up with many viable and tangible solutions, for example:

If my Brother was gravely ill- Given he knows how to knock down brews, trying to drink him into a beer induced coma would most definatley kill me. I would secretly feed him that Strict-9 laced turkey he got from that Bodega in Ben Salem, Pa. He wouldn't stand a chance. And just to show how much I care for him I would use that action photo of him jumping into the pool in back yard on White St. at his wake. If by some miracle he lived through the turkey I would have MacGuyver and Kevin Allen take him off his death bed and head to 5 Points for some Nibbles&Gibbles hot chips.

If my Mother was ill- I would employ my favorite aunt Grace to come and be her live-in nurse. I would build them bunk beds with auntie Grace on top bunk. I would have Grace read to her and have daily slde-shows of her and Uncle Richards vacations. Aunt Grace would also take my Mother shopping for cotton slacks that were only inspected by Inspector 12. After about a week of this my Mother would be begging me to unplug her machines and let her slip away.

If my Sister was ill- I would slip into her hospital room and smother her with a pillow. Just to show I'm not heartless I would use a clean pillow and I would construct a memorial calendar of her using the 365 days and some change year.