Tuesday, June 12, 2007

All-Pro Sean

Was the son of Market and brother to Dodie and Doc. He was a little league legend and even has a row of bleachers named after him at the Mechanicville little league park. His post baseball career led All-Pro to many career avenues. He was a paper boy, lemonade salesman, and even had a short stint as Sanitation Manager at the flat track. Working at the track led him to take a job as a hot-walker, then groom, and eventually landed him at Someday Farm in Chester County, Pennsylvania. All-Pro worked as a farm hand for Pat Chapman. All-Pro's path to the job at the farm was a checkered one, there were allegations leveled against him at Aqueduct Race Course. The allegations consisted of All-Pro physically assaulting jockeys who lost races he bet on. In 1998 famed jockey Kent Desormeaux was injured after losing the Belmont on Real Quiet to Victory Gallop by a nose. He had a fractured skull and lost hearing in one ear. This, of course, was a cover up. The jockey was beaten in the paddock by All-Pro, who had bet his brother's t-shirt money on the race. Forced to leave the track All-Pro took the job at Someday Farm under the alias S. Marty Jones. This was a tribute to uncle who was known as "Slick Marty". Pat Chapman upon reading his work badge began to call All-Pro "Smarty Jones". In Febuary of 2001 a horse was born on the farm, during birth the horse's skull and left eye were completely fractured. Chapman was leaning toward having the young horse put down but All-Pro convinced her to let him nurse the horse to health. Chapman went against her gut feeling and agreed with All-Pro. All-Pro nursed the hosre back completely, Chapman would go on to name the horse "Smarty Jones", in honor of All-Pro. Smarty Jones would go on to win The Preakness and The Kentucky Derby. After regaining his track status All-Pro went on to open up Funky Dodie Dina Stables, this is in honor of his sister who suffers from tourets syndrome. Today All-Pro splits time between Philadelphia Park and The Philadelphia Amplitheatre, All-Pro is a professional break dancer in the off-broadway play Beat Street. A great man and an even greater White Streeter.

6 comments:

seany on the delaware said...

i recently purchased all-pros collection of street sign tops and crhome valve stem tops for 300 pesos, at a black market shop in bensalem called the alamo.

Sgt. Daly said...

I know the Alamo, and that is a very rare collection you purchased. I once bought an Anna Kane edition of Dave Crockett's coon skin cap there. There is rumor that a rare edition of "How To Roll Wet Money Savers Into Deadly Weapons" book written by All-Pro with contributions from MacGuyver is availible there.

seany on the delaware said...

did you know that all-pro was the all-time wiffle ball home run king at cox field and grande park. he did it on kool-aid and nibble with gibble red hot chips

Carl_Baxter said...

Yes I did know he was the home run king. But All-Pro was way ahead of his time. He was the founder, manager, and star player of the wiffle ball league's Super Crunch. He invented and perfected the wiffle ball version of the Ephus pitch and 3 Finger Curve Ball. This led to sponsorship deals with Bravo Chips, A-B-C chewing gum, and Burn Your Butt To A Crisp Extra Crispy fried chicken.

seany on the delaware said...

these days all-pro is known as professor all-pro. teaching future equine thermal-reduction engieneers at back stretch university,while fullfilling his duties as captain of the usbdt. ps. hows the back mags?

seany on the delaware said...

all-pro sean the man the myth the legend. outta here!