Sunday, August 12, 2007

How much do you love your siblings?

We recently had a family member go through a rough time with cancer, prognosis was not good. We began to talk about what would you do if it were your sister, brother, or other family member suffering from illness. I came up with many viable and tangible solutions, for example:

If my Brother was gravely ill- Given he knows how to knock down brews, trying to drink him into a beer induced coma would most definatley kill me. I would secretly feed him that Strict-9 laced turkey he got from that Bodega in Ben Salem, Pa. He wouldn't stand a chance. And just to show how much I care for him I would use that action photo of him jumping into the pool in back yard on White St. at his wake. If by some miracle he lived through the turkey I would have MacGuyver and Kevin Allen take him off his death bed and head to 5 Points for some Nibbles&Gibbles hot chips.

If my Mother was ill- I would employ my favorite aunt Grace to come and be her live-in nurse. I would build them bunk beds with auntie Grace on top bunk. I would have Grace read to her and have daily slde-shows of her and Uncle Richards vacations. Aunt Grace would also take my Mother shopping for cotton slacks that were only inspected by Inspector 12. After about a week of this my Mother would be begging me to unplug her machines and let her slip away.

If my Sister was ill- I would slip into her hospital room and smother her with a pillow. Just to show I'm not heartless I would use a clean pillow and I would construct a memorial calendar of her using the 365 days and some change year.

No comments: